breaths

breaths by a headless butterfly
inhaling is easier than exhaling.
Banner Credit: Melissa

Melissa Thinks: There is not a poem on this site that has touched me as deeply as "breaths" has. What the piece lacks in word count, it makes up for in substance. In particular, the first and last lines stand out to me as being the most meaningful - both of them channeling the poem's emotionally charged theme while helping the reader to piece together the significance of the lines caught between.

Skinny

Skinny by Autumn's Addiction
For my friend, who is struggling with anorexia nervosa.
Banner Credit: Marta

Helen Thinks: I think I have mentioned before how much I adore poetry that show us the author's vulnerabilities or allow us a glance
into their lives and this is definitely delivered with “Skinny” by Autumn's Addiction. This is a poem that details their friend's struggle with anorexia nervosa and I think it's beautifully written. Autumn's Addiction has used fantastic vocabulary that helps paint the picture of what they are seeing when they see their friend. It's a jumble of really short sentences to really long ones which makes you almost sense that this poem could be how they would approach the conversation with their friend, rushed and frantic, so that they could understand what they are doing to themselves. However, the most powerful thing about this poem is the layout. Autumn's Addiction has centred the entire text in one long thin stanza which really hits home about the context. You may not know anyone struggling with anoxeria nervosa but this poem still hits a nerve with the reader and we find ourselves hoping that Autumn's Addiction won the battle.

i tell you stories in hushed tones

a summer without you by creepy kiss on tuesday
never raise your voice.
Banner Credit: Helen

Helen Thinks: This poem is absolutely gorgeous. Its beauty lies mainly in its stunning simplicity; unadorned words strung together to create something that leaves you breathless, as it gives a message. It gives it to you oh-so-incredibly well.

At mere fifty words, "i tell you stories in hushed tones" will never get repetitive or tiring, but something you'll easily get addicted to.

a summer without you

a summer without you by his terrible beauty
Like last month, when you called to say sorry, you couldn't love me
Banner Credit: Melissa

Helen Thinks: The first thing I notice about any poem that lands in my suggestion box is the layout. I know, it is weird as poetry only
ever seems to ever follow the straightforward layout and that is true of the poem “a summer without you” by his terrible beauty. However, the writer uses clever literary tricks such as brackets and one lined stanzas that breaks the poem up and makes it completely different. But despite this, it does not disturb the flow of the poem. Instead it adds to it. My most favourite thing about 'a summer without you' is that his terrible beauty's vocabulary is fantastic. Strong, powerful and yet dark words like “carcass” and “morsel” are used as a contrast to what could have been a fluffy love poem – and you all know I love something when it comes across as almost gritty. I envy his terrible beauty's writing skills and hope that you will all feel the same once you have checked this amazing piece of poetry out. 

agora and

agora and by CuriousContradiction
and we'd sputter-speed down empty freeways toward arizona or new york or iowa cornfields, and we'd pass by gasoline stations all sad and dark and oil refineries all sad and bright and motels all sad and lonely
Banner Credit: Anita

Annie Thinks: This story hurts. Bad. There are no big fights or heartbreaks, but it has this faint aura of melancholy weaved
throughout the narrative, strong enough to leave me feeling hollow. That being said, you should totally read it!

It's about an agoraphobic girl named Evie and the boy who's in love with her, Corey. Between the individual scenes, Evie's stream of consciousness reminds us that she's a real live person (in the story, at least). Her exterior is impermeable and almost cold, but her thoughts are frantic and rambling, revealing her dreams and wishes. Corey tries his best to help Evie, but there's a thick invisible wall separating the girl Corey loves and the girl she really is.

agora and has a simple, slow kind of sadness to it, the kind that you feel when it's 3 am and you're the only one awake. You can feel how desperately Evie wants to change, but it's almost impossible for her. I, personally, could relate to this, which is perhaps why I so strongly recommend this story. Otherwise, it may seem kind of bland and confusing. Corey is patient and understanding, but his frustration and humanness definitely get the better of him once in a while. He is a believable, likable character, who so clearly loves this girl who's at once terrified by and awed at the world.

I love quietly painful stories like this, but if you're having a really great, cheery day then you should steer clear. However, if you aren't afraid of or opposed to an introspective, almost bittersweet read then I definitely recommend agora and. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

love letters

love letters by poetic abortion

& he burns them without a care
Banner Credit: Helen

Helen Thinks: “Love Letters” by poetic abortion is a powerful
piece of prose that depicts the approach the opposite members of sex have towards infatuation and love. I know that's a dreadful generalisation of me (which you'll understand when you read it!) but I believe it works and is captured beautifully in this poem. The best thing about this poem is that the sentences are short, snappy and are structurally perfect into creating a pace that the reader can read. The layout is cliché but at the same time has its own unique moments that make it stand out. With powerful quotes that will leave you breathless, “Love Letters” is a poem that will have you clicking the favourite button.

on your shore

on your shore by no.peace.los.angeles

she lived inside the ocean
Banner Credit: Marta

Marta Thinks: no.peace.los.angeles' poem is long, compared to
most of the poems on fictionpress, with its 269 words. But each of them is worth it. no.peace.los.angeles allows this to happen with the use of enjambement, which underlines each word and phrase, letting the poem create a vivid imagery that will capture you. The beginning of the poem was perhaps the most powerful part (which made the centre seem less strong), but I assure you that the last lines will still take your breath away.

willowed

willowed by no.peace.los.angeles

you, so trembling yet strong
Banner Credit: Helen

Marta Thinks: “willowed” is written wonderfully. no.peace.los.angeles’ interpretation of nature is lovely – nature is
stunning to look at but thanks to this poem, you start appreciating it more, realizing truly how striking it is. The beautiful imagery present manages to seep out of the poem and onto you, as the poet allows it to speak directly to its destined reader. It would be easy to say that each picture is linked to the other; they are woven together and spun into a beautiful tapestry. In other words: Voilà, you have yourself a masterpiece. Read it, appreciate it, but most of all – admire it.

Make Believe

Make Believe by Dragen Eyez

A Shakespearean sonnet about growing up.
Banner Credit: Melissa

Helen Thinks: Honestly, it has been many years since I sat in my
English Literature classes studying Shakespeare sonnets but I still remember the rules and the power that the layout can have on a reader and that is delivered wonderfully by Dragon Eyz in “Make Believe”. The delight of this poem is that it does detail most childhood’s that people experience. I can remember hunting around my grannie’s garden for faeries that she insisted existed there or worrying that the monsters would get me late at night that lived under my bed. “Make Believe” paints a picture of childhood; that innocent time where children do believe in fairytales; that everyone can relate too. This poem is beautifully written, sticks to the rules of a Shakespeare Sonnet and has a beat that will keep you reading to the very last word while musing throughout what Dragon Eyz is trying to make us think about. “Make Believe” really is a hidden treasure that I hope you all take a minute to read.

You & I

You & I by Lyssrus

Short about forever love.
Banner Credit: Melissa

Melissa Thinks: Sometimes, stories are written that blur the line between “poetry” and a “one shot”. They’re short pieces with flowery prose - the comforting trace of the author’s true voice lingering within it. This is one of those. Just over 150 words, “You & I” is only and simply a love story. There really is no way to describe it other than: powerful, tender, and eternal. 

The Dreamer and Her Boy

The Dreamer and Her Boy by stuck in bed

He falls into your heart and doesn't leave. He carves his initials and makes himself at home. He paints your heart red and makes it passionate and vibrant. He laughs and dances and sings and makes sure you won't forget him.
Banner Credit: Marta

Melissa Thinks: As a response to the most recent Star Crossed round here at ADoR, “The Dreamer and Her Boy” by stuck in bed
(our lovely Marta, by the way) really helps restore my faith in Fictionpress. This piece brought to my attention to how truly wonderful stuck in bed’s writing is and in turn gives me motivation to find more unknown authors with such a promising voice.

From the beginning of the summary you’re already hooked. Something that makes stuck in bed’s stories truly magical is her use of flowing poetic prose and that shines brightly from beginning to end. The emotions cut deep in this 900 word one shot. Love is first found between the two main characters and then lost just as quickly as it came.

The only critique I have about this story is that it does seem a bit rushed, but considering the time restraints and the author’s hectic introduction into ADoR-dom, I think that any negatives can be forgotten. It’s inspiring, heart-wrenching, and reflects a melancholy tone that really makes you think. Here you have it; one of the many great works of ADoR's newest and youngest staff member.

Adolovescence

Adolovescence by Plinky

You whisper in my ear, “Never say never, (say never,)” and I shiver in the honey-warm sunshine.
Banner Credit: marta

Helen Thinks: ‘Adolovescence’ by Plinky is a whimsical piece of
poetry that leaves you sat at the end wondering ‘what was the writer trying to tell me?’ which is fantastic! The author themselves admit that they also do not know what they think of the particular piece so it is completely up to the readers. No answer is the right answer like they say back in school, right? One thing I can safely state is that Plinky’s writing throughout ‘Adolovescence’ flows beautifully. There’s a rhythmic pattern to it that starts from the first word to the very last word. With its quirky layout that takes advantage of brackets, italicising and spacing, ‘Adolovescence’ breaks all the rules but uses it to their power. It’s cute. It’s romantic. It’s poetry at its best. Seriously, check it out!

The Good Witch

Since the posting of this review, this story has been removed from FictionPress by the author.

Read more »

The Knight and His Princess

The Knight and His Princess by xoxluurve

“Be happy with your future king. Love again. Fall freely and let him catch you.” Her eyes fell closed. He pulled away a little, but only to whisper into her ear: “Love crazily as I love you.”

Banner Credit: MajordlyFantastic

Marta Thinks: Although this is clearly one of xoxluurve’s earlier works, it certainly isn’t lacking. Its unnamed characters – the knight and the princess – have clear personalities even if they just appear for a few thousand words. Their feelings for each other are clear and don’t feel overdone. The dialogue is well written and although it reflects the time period in which the one shot is set, it doesn’t feel forced or incomprehensible. However, what really makes this one shot special is its plot. xoxluurve takes a relatively cliché idea and spins it into something incredibly realistic, thus making it her own. Even though there is no happy ending here, there is certainly a happy (albeit heartbroken) reader.

to the boy with artist's hands

to the boy with artist's hands by CuriousContradiction

from the girl with dreamer's eyes.
Banner Credit: Melissa

Marta Thinks: No other person on fictionpress writes like CuriousContradiction. She has a way of making banal and trivial objects important and can easily spin the simplest sentences into something that sounds like poetry. Imagery comes easy to her and being abstract is her mother tongue. This all contributes to make her 140 word one shot an extremely powerful one.

Like most of her pieces, this piece is entirely up to individual interpretation. I read the various reviews. Some took the one shot literally. Many said that for them it talks about how love lets you ignore the pain, and pushes you to do everything for your loved one. A particularly thoughtful review, said the last paragraph “captures humanity…everyone is ugly on the outside if you think about it. but on the inside, their dedication, and love, is what gives them their beauty.”

Whatever you choose this one shot to mean, it will undeniably affect you in some way or another. CuriousContradiction makes sure of that.

Keep It a Secret

Keep It a Secret by xoxluurve

She kept avoiding him. He always found his way back to her. But it only went so far…
Banner Credit: Ali

Ali Thinks: "Keep It a Secret" will make you sigh—But in that frustrated, I-love-this-but-oh-dear-god-why? kind of way.

Don't let that deter you. Take it from someone who prefers happy over somber 99.99% of the time. In my time on Fictionpress, I must have read this one-shot at least a dozen times, despite my rocky relationship with the I-love-this-but-oh-dear-god-why? kind of stories. It's painful, but it's just so darn good.

One of the best parts of this story is probably all of the things that are left unsaid. The main character never outright explains how she feels about this guy or why she's avoiding him, but she doesn't really have to because the things she does and the way the two interact is indicative enough for the reader to understand and empathize with her, even though they don't exactly know the method to her madness.

Xoxluurve has this way— this impeccable way— of bringing her characters to life. Even though neither of the main characters' names are known, they still seem like people I could come across in my everyday life. The girl protagonist, who also narrates this story, is clearly in distress during her best friend's Christmas party, and the source of her discomfort is obvious— the male antagonist. He doesn't exactly know why he is antagonizing to her, but he is completely fed up with her, and doesn't try to hide it. He, like the reader, is desperate to find her reason for her constant running away from him. But she keeps it hidden until the very last heart-wrenching second.

Bottom line? No, this is not a fluffy little one-shot for a lonely night pick-me-up. But I have no doubt in my mind that no matter what mood you're in (or what mood you want to be in), you'll be hanging on every single word until you're left completely breathless in the end.

I won't regret you

I won't regret you by punctured.lungs
shooting stars and seventh-hand cars

Banner Credit: Marta

Helen Thinks: “I Won’t Regret You” by city nights is a poem that details a period of time that we are all aware of; High School. No matter where you are in the world, High School is pretty much the same for everyone. It’s that steady transgression of growing up that shapes our futures but do we ever look at it like that when we first arrive?

My favourite aspect of this poem was the tone. Even as I read it quietly, I could hear myself saying it with an almost child-like beat. Do you know those songs you sing when playing with a skipping rope? I felt it was like that. Of course, this is thanks to city night’s fantastic use of rhyme. The power of the rhyme helps with the delivery and reception of the poem.

“I Won’t Regret You” by city nights is a cute, catchy poem that is a quick read and will have you falling in love with their writing.

What is a Writer?

What is a Writer? by continuous brevity
a liar.

Banner Credit: Ali

Helen Thinks: Continuous brevity asks the question that all of us probably asking ourselves at least once a day – “What is a Writer?” This poem is unique because continuous brevity does not use any fancy tricks that you usually see in poetry like an extensive list of adjective. ‘What is a Writer?” may not have all that but does contain with rhetorical questions that are there to make the reader think. The use of a simple layout makes the poem easy to read and helps keep the pace for the reader. Even though continuous brevity is posing the question, they do fill us in with a stunning answer to the questions they pose as the conclusion to this poem. So if you want to see the answers to ‘What is a Writer?’ then go check out continuous brevity’s excellent poem.

Say What?: A 101 Guide to Reviewing Chaptered Stories

Say What?: A 101 Guide to Reviewing Chaptered Stories by Vena Cava

A short guide on how to write a good review - with emphasis on reviews for incomplete, chaptered stories.
Banner Credit: Helen

Melissa Thinks: I know what you’re thinking: this is not an actual story. Yes, you would be right about that, but there are a few things you should consider before skipping over this piece entirely: 1) it’s written by the ever so lovely and legendary Vena Cava, 2) it covers the always controversial and extremely important topic of how exactly one should review a story, and 3) I mean... it’s Vena.

Being a part of a site that reviews stories can teach you a thing or two about the importance of reviewing which is exactly why this is an essential piece of writing in our small community. Vena outlines a few of the necessities that make up a helpful, critically constructive review. She keeps things organized with an easy to follow format and includes examples that make the read fun. All points and suggestions made were concise, helpful, and extremely easy for the average reader to integrate into their daily Fictionpress using lives.

I cannot recommend this piece enough to all the readers and writers out there. Fictionpress is filled with young aspiring writers looking to improve their writing and bring it to new levels; something that a simple “Update please” or “Good job” can’t achieve. Vena’s guide was extremely helpful to me and I hope it can be to you too.

It only takes a few moments to read, so I strongly recommend you click the link above.

celery

celery by White Tea and Ginger
framed by the shreds.

Banner Credit: Melissa

Helen Thinks:  I’m going to be a 100% honest with you, I did not quite understand what picture the writer was trying to paint throughout this poem but I decided that my ignorance was not enough to reject it. Do you want to know why? Because White Tea and Ginger has a beautiful way with words throughout the poem “Celery” that you wish you did understand the context! The unique layout through both the lines and through grouping certain letters or words in brackets makes this an original poem that leaves you wishing you could write poetry just a fraction as good. So despite my stupidity, I think this poem is simply stunning and I hope that you give it a shot - and hell, maybe you'll be able to help me clarify what it is about!