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Marta Thinks: Geek and Hot Guy is my favorite cliche. But I'll be one of the first to admit that it can easily become redundant and overdone, especially when the same formula is used over and over again. However, I knew as soon as I read the first chapter of "The Millionaire's Proposition" that this would not be the case.
Bailey isn’t overdone as a character, but she’s realistic and extremely likable. Wolf isn’t the arrogant, rude boss; he turned out to be a rather sweet. Even when he acted like an idiot, FreekyDisaster18 still managed to make me somewhat sympathize him, and find him agreeable.
Another thing I loved about this story was how it was written. I usually enjoy stories with a good amount dialogue and generally much less description, as it can slow the story down. Now, I've changed my opinion because "The Millionaire's Proposition" has a brilliant pace. It has moved much more quickly with its twenty-four chapters, compared to stories that have fifty chapters but no real substance down.
Simply put, I'm enthralled with this story. But let me leave the last few words to a man (Goethe), much wiser than me, who describes exactly what sort of author FreekyDisaster18 is:
"The most original of authors are not so because they advance what is new, but more because they know how to say something, as if it had never been said before".
Just read 8 chapters of this story, and I found it extremely juvenile. The events of the story laid out remind me of the writing of a starry eyed, love deprived teen. The physical descriptions of the characters are romanticized, something along the lines of 'mystifying grey eyes' and other Twilight-esque descriptions. The plot and character development is practically thrown at you, 'oh no, Bailey's so plain, but that's because "all the men in her life sneered at her dream"', and that's in the early chapters. Wolf is completely unrealistic as well. I stopped reading at the line, "You'll have to pretend you're madly in love with me", and this was in combination with a few chapters ago where Bailey suddenly transforms into an 'incognito' singer for a company event. In no circumstances would a boss ever say that to a newly hired employee, ever, or at least phrase it in such a manner. Overall this story is not realistic whatsoever and seems to not be able to grasp any reality of the setting it chose to situate itself in. Very mediocre, and I'm very surprised by the glowing review.
ReplyDeleteI understand that you're not happy with the story, but this really isn't the place for these kinds of comments. Instead of throwing around words like "juvenile" and "mediocre" and telling the author all the things you think she did wrong, which can kind of be interpreted as insulting, you should be making constructive criticism and telling the author how she can fix those problems.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that everyone has a different opinion. If we took down reviews every time one person had a problem with the story, we'd have no reviews on this site. Marta enjoyed the story and I know that many other people found it good too. That's all you can really ask for.
First of all, when I started TMP I was a teenager - I'm not sure on the love struck comment but definitely a teenager. This novel has matured with me, and this would have been something you'd have realised if you continued past the eighth chapter. I appreciate your comments. All works of fiction get hate but, as Melissa mentioned, I would have preferred for your comments to be constructive rather than a block of endless flames. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the story but I wish you had felt like you could leave constructive comments rather than cowardly anonymous hatred.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, Marta this was the loveliest review in the world
Melissa - In regards for this not being in the right place, I'm giving immediate feedback and my personal response to a recommendation by this site, so I don't feel my comment is inappropriately placed. I also did not indicate that I wished for the review to be removed, but that I did have an opposing opinion to it.
ReplyDeleteHelen - I'm glad you appreciate my comments, though I don't believe them to be flames (as you claim), as then they would be nonsensical and lacking any form of merit. In regards to hatred vs. constructive criticism, I did point out areas where I felt improvement was necessary and quoted some of the worst offenders. So, rather than getting a bit huffy (your last two sentences), I would kindly suggest that you reread my comment, and siphon those constructive bits that you huffily missed the first time around.
Anonymous (you have not provided me with your name, or any fictionpress account user name, if you have one):
ReplyDeleteI appreciate hearing your thoughts, though I feel that you could have placed your thoughts in a more appropriate place. Juliet has linked all our email address, and it would have been better if you had just emailed me. Here, on ADoR, we celebrate writing, and negative comments easily damper the atmosphere. I do understand that you'd want to share your opinion; it's just easier, and better, if you contact me (or whichever judge) first.
If you do wish to talk to me further, then don't hesitate.